The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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