Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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