I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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