everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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