I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
