guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
