Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
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I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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