the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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