I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
