i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
