I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
