I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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