You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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