so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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