new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
