Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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