nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do vagina's smell?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed