oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.