): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
