I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
