it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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