Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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