I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
