she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
