It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
