I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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