Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
