You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
