you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
