butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
