Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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