The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Enjoy the penises
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
