sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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