I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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