she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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