from now on my penis is your penis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
