you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
