Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
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Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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