All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
