my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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