i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
