butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
