I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My ass is underappreciated
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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