check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
