I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
