Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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