We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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