So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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