All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
