Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
