i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
