would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
