honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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