I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
