Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
